


Where the Pilgrim Falls

by Quinara



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Community: sb_fag_ends, F/M, season: b6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-03
Updated: 2012-01-03
Packaged: 2017-10-28 20:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/311672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinara/pseuds/Quinara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The way Buffy sees it, she's not midway down any freaking journey.  Even if she is lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where the Pilgrim Falls

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the LJ/DW comm sb_fag_ends, to the prompt of Gustave Doré's illustration for Dante's _Inferno_ Canto I - _[Dante and Virgil leaving the dark wood.](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v420/quinara/sb_fag_ends/dantedore1.jpg)_

“Why you?” she shouted at him. “ _Why_ does it get to be _you_?”

She couldn’t even remember anymore what he’d said to set her off, but it hurt too much to look at him right now. All she wanted was for him to realise she was hurting, to feel it the way she could. And so, as his mouth opened, she threw her fist, knocking his barely-clothed body back through the air and everything in its way.

In a breath, Buffy watched Spike’s body slam down, frozen with the sudden fear she’d gone too far. Her fist hurt, which was more than a warning sign. Then there was blood in his hair, all too visible in candlelight. A grimace broke across his face, a flash of exactly the right amount of pain, which made her afraid she really _had_ made him feel how she felt.

God, who was she to wish this on anyone?

Quaking with horror, Buffy backed away. Her eyes darted around her and the crypt’s lower floor – the broken furniture, the ravished bed. Candles and candle stands had fallen, killing light apart from the last remaining, guttering flames. They shone resolutely around him. Around her there were only shadows, long and deep and dark as her old grave, more than enough to get lost in where they groped and clung to the light.

“What were you expecting, love?” her vampire croaked at last, some new mirth cracking through his fangs. She remembered now what she’d been asking him. “What the bloody hell’d you think would happen? Some angel’d fall from on high, get his boots wet just to take you back?” Who was he to get her through this? That was what she’d wanted to know. “This ain’t no holy land down _here_.” It wasn’t fair that he could help, that he was the only one who helped her, demon that he…

Her thoughts stopped quite suddenly as he turned his head, coughing then spitting a glob of something dark to the stone, unable to talk.

 _God – what have I broken now?_

Who was she to do _this?_

 _Someone, help me._

After moments of abrasive, heavy breathing, Spike squeezed his eyes shut and let his face fall back to human, still awash with light. “Forget heaven,” he told her softly, blinking his eyes open to plead with her. “Please, Buffy, you’re not gonna find it – there’s only us damned in the end. Might as well let us help.”

Buffy shivered, unwilling. Too much of her was unworthy now; she had to maintain what she could. “I’m going back someday,” she promised, unable to live with any other option. “I’m leaving you here to go.”

“Fine,” Spike dismissed with a wheeze, quick enough to surprise her. He reached out an arm, breaking into shadow, made her shiver again. “Give us a hand first, though, would you?”

It didn’t seem too bad a bargain, not at that moment, so she crossed the wreckage and pulled him to his feet. Only then did she realise he’d got her standing in the light.


End file.
